May 5, 2014- Chad's Grandmother, our Nana passed away.

A couple of week’s earlier Chad had visited Nana in the hospital specifically to tell her that we were having a baby.  She was so excited and happy for us!!!  On Easter we went to visit her together and I remember the first thing she said to me when she saw me was "Congratulation Sweetie." 

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When Chad came home that night I knew what had happened but hearing him say it out loud was like getting punched in the throat.  All I could do was hold him.  I didn't say anything I just held him.  I desperately wanted there to be some magical words that would lessen his pain. I knew that there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do to make him feel any better.  He just looked at Tina (my grandmother came into town to take care of me) and I.  I will never forget the look of sadness and pain he had in his eyes.  

Being on bed rest was not going to stop me from going to any of her services.  I wanted to be there, I wanted to hold Chad's hand and just be there.  It was a difficult experience, very emotional, but at the same time so beautiful the chapel was filled of people who loved and cared so much about her. The display of roses and flower was breath taking.  During the eulogy I could not help and think about the things she would not physically be there for: the birth of our baby, his blessing, his first thanksgiving, his first Christmas, his first fishing/camping trip. So many of the stories I had heard from Chad I wanted our baby to experience with her as well. On this day the greatest peace I think we all had was knowing that Families could be together Forever.